The Controller is a Nasty Fella...
Leadership GLUE: Tip #26
[PQ = Mental Fitness + Emotional Freedom]
Continuing with the Saboteurs: The Controller - This Saboteur can be the nastiest of the bunch...
The Controller has an anxiety based need to take charge and control situations and people's actions to one's own will. High anxiety and impatience is experienced when that is not possible.
Controllers have a strong energy and need to control and take charge. They connect with others through competition, challenge, physicality, or conflict rather than softer emotions.
The thoughts of the Controller are:
"If I work hard enough I can, and should, take control of the situation so it goes my way."
"Others want and need me to take control...I am doing them a favor."
"No one tells me what to do."
The Controller has high anxiety when things don't go his way and gets angry and intimidating when others don't follow his wishes. He is impatient with other's feelings and different styles. He does feel hurt and rejected at times, but will rarely admit it.
The lies the Controller tells himself are that 'without the Controller, you can't get much done. You need to push people. If I don't control, I will be controlled, and I can't live with that. I am trying to get the job done for all of our sakes.'
The impact the Controller has on others is that he stifles creativity, innovation and flow at work, causing others to feel resentful and unable to tap into their own greater resources. He generates a great deal of anxiety as many things in work and life are ultimately not controllable. At home, reactions range from a spouse's complete shut-down to a child's rebellion.
The Controller often has a hidden fear under his bravado of being controlled by others or life. This Saboteur fights that scenario by being overly ferocious in his controlling behavior and pushes people away from him as a result. The Controller chooses this behavior usually as a result of having been hurt, rejected, or betrayed and has decided to never be that vulnerable again.
Identifying which Saboteur is running your thoughts and messing with your head and heart gives you the jumpstart you need to increase your mental fitness and emotional freedom. Positive Intelligence (PQ) helps you weaken the Saboteur so you can find peace and calm and stop the negative thoughts in your head.
Take the Saboteur Assessment here: https://kaewagner.simplero.com/page/249283-pqsaboteurlin
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Take the Saboteurs Assessment and find out for yourself. https://kaewagner.simplero.com/page/249283-pqsaboteurlink
If you are a lifelong learner and want to find a sustainable way to manage your thoughts, join me in the PQ movement that's now gone global.
We have many opportunities coming up for you to learn more first-hand about PQ in our PQ FLOW Forum and PQ FLOW Coaching.
IMHO, you really are crazy if you don't grab this opportunity to identify and weaken your Saboteurs. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with no control over your thoughts when there actually is a solution?
Think about it...